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Friday, September 28, 2018

A DAMAGING KINSHIP

One of the many ways God has transformed my life has been to change me from a whiskey, beer, and whatever alcohol is available type of drunk into a casual, rare - maybe a glass of wine sometimes with dinner - type of drinker. You see, I began drinking alcohol in the ninth grade, and it became my best friend among all who I believed to be a friend. This soothing - yet deceptive - ethanol-filled liquid had become very important during this period of my life since it allowed me to hide in its bottles whenever I became anxious or whenever I was afraid. The alcohol protected me from my thoughts and comforted me whenever my realities became unbearable.  I could always find solace in it. It created a euphoric reality for me with false promises of escape. Yes, alcohol had become my crutch, and I leaned on it well into my adult years.




When I think about those “drunken” days caused by my excessive drinking, I must admit to making many mistakes as well as damaging many relationships. My “sober” self could never remember what her “drunk” self had said or done, and had it not been for certain friends and family members forcing me to remember, I would have never believed how belligerent and unbecoming I behaved. It was a damaging kinship between the two egos which had me trapped in a lie for many years. And it is only because of God’s healing grace, that I was finally awakened to my true self able to see me for who I really was. The bad and the good. The weak and the strong.  The beauty and the beast. I realize now that my mature adult sober self could never have been a character witness for my immature inebriated one since the drunken one always erased the memories of her actions by throwing them into the abysmal blackout hole of forgetfulness forever insisting that she had only passed out.

As I listened to the Ford and Kavanaugh testimonies yesterday, I became sad yet hopeful. Sad for our young people and the perils of underage and excessive drinking, and sad for our country where lies are valued more than truth and sexual assaults are excused as “boys will be boys” behavior. And, yes, hopeful. Hopeful for the future because the truth always prevails. And hopeful for our youth because of the many prayer warriors praying for them asking God for safe and healthy households and communities in which they can flourish. There is power in prayer and healing in Jesus the Christ. Let’s keep praying and let's keep believing.